Elayne Boosler

How do they not get along with Jews? They’re exactly like my Aunt Sophie and my Aunt Rona.

From our December trip to China.

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To be honest, considering what else they eat, this wasn’t so bad.

I went to three Macy’s sales today. 9:am. 1:15 – 1:25pm, and 6:07 – 7:15pm. They’re getting ridiculous. I bought a shirt at 9, it got reduced by 15% by three, I had to go back for a credit, the next day it was 50% off the original price before the 15% reduction. I went back again, returned it, bought it at the new price, saved $28, then spent $55 on a pair of pants, which went on sale the next day for half off. I go every day now. I live there actually.

He could be defrocked for performing his son’s marriage. That’s harsh! Too bad he didn’t just molest his son. Then he’d only be transferred to another church.

I’m old enough to remember red pistachios.

Dumb Headline of the Day:

“Is The World Ready For An Openly Gay NASCAR Driver?”

No. It will destroy the sanctity of NASCAR.

Reminds me of the great Ed Bluestone’s joke: “My lawyer is great. I got busted for sodomy. He got it reduced to following too closely.”

“Pope Benedict Defrocked Nearly 400 Priests For Sex Abuse.” Oh great. Take off their clothes…

In Beijing, December, 2013.  Right next to the Stephen Hawking running shoes store.

The only bad thing about watching Downton Abbey is that after it’s over, you have to turn around and see your own living room again.

I love rocking out to those PBS ’60s and ’70s music specials, until they cut to the audience. NOOOO!!!!!! Agghh!!!!! #isthatme?